Brokenness

We sang "Holiness" on Sunday. One of the verses goes:
"Brokenness, Brokenness is what I long for
Brokenness is what I need.
Brokenness, Brokenness is what You want from me"

and the chorus goes:
"Take my heart - and form it
Take my mind - transform it
Take my will - conform it
To Yours, To Your, O Lord.

During this verse a vision came to my head. I want to record it here.

To give a bit of background, this incorporates teaching from the weekend at Come to the Fire about God's Glory.

Glory is a word that is heavy with its idea that it holds within it all the attributes of God:

Infinite
Sovereign
Holy
Triune God
Omniscient
Faithful
Love
Omnipotent
Self-Existant
Self-Sufficient
Just
Immutable
Merciful
Eternal
Good
Gracious
Omnipresent
Truth
Healer
Comforter
Redeemer
Righteous
I AM
God of the Beginning
God of Justice
God of Forgiveness
God of Heights
God Who is Near
God of My Strength
God of My Praise
God of My Salvation
God with us
Holy God
Living God
God of Gods

This Glory is what we want to be filled with - but it's too heavy to be a thin substance! I picture it as a Jell-O-type substance.

Now make it glow-in-the-dark.

So now we have God's Glory in us - shining in the dark!

Then we become BROKEN -

Now picture a figuring (mine is a Willow Tree) that has been dropped and shattered. Tiny Tiny pieces!

But wait! There's the Jell-O Glory!

All the pieces are held in place - sort of - by the glowing Jello-O Glory of God!

We now have an outside figuring, representing ourselves, that has been made broken. The Glory of God now shines through. It also can now mold and shape this figuring.

WOW! Just think of what God can do in your life if He's got permission to mold and shape you. Just think of what God can do in the world if all Christians became filled with the Glory of God and were broken!

I want God's Glory in me!
I want to be broken!

Work in me, God...

Come to the Fire

I just spent the weekend at the 'Come to the Fire' women's conference in Olathe, Kansas. It was a wonderful time of renewal and healing!

The display behind the speakers at the conference was beautiful! Long yards of brightly-colored satin draped on a tall backdrop. Red, yellow, orange, and cream - arranged to resemble a fire.

The center of the 'fire' was drawn back to reveal royal purple cloth behind the fire.

Fire represents making something pure in the Bible. It is called 'refining' - referring to how a metal smithy must separate the impurities from the metal by melting the ore. Silver is the most common metal used in Scripture because at that time silver was the most precious metal. Today we think of gold - back then it was silver!

Purple represents royalty - referring to Jesus as the King of Kings.

Old Testament references to refining -

"... in all the land, two parts shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left. And I will put this third into the fire, and Refine them as silver, and test them as gold. They will call on My Name, and I will answer and say, 'They are My people'; and they will say, 'Yahweh is my Elohim!!!'." (Zec 13:9)

"... when He Has Tried me, I shall come forth as gold!" (Job 23:10)

But who can endure the day of His coming? And who shall stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner's fire, and like fuller's soap. (Malachi 3:2)

Behold, I have refined you, but not with silver; I have chosen you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, even for my own sake, will I do it: for how should My Name be polluted? and I will not give My Glory unto another. (Isaiah 10-11)

And many of those who understand shall stumble, to refine and purge them, and to make white, to the time of the end because it is still for the appointed time. (Daniel 11:35)

And in the New Testament:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1Peter 1:6-7)


This is the fulfillment of the scripture in Zechariah 13:9 (see above) - the persecutions of the early church, the 'fiery trial' which tried the people of God then. Those whom God sets apart for himself must pass through a probation and purification in this world. They must be TRIED that THEIR FAITH may be FOUND TO PRAISE AND HONOUR as Abraham's faith was when it was tried by the command given him to offer up Isaac. They must be tried, that both those that are perfect and those that are not may be 'made manifest.' they must be refined from their dross, their corruption must be purged out, they must be brightened and bettered. (Excerpted from Matthew Henry's Commentaries)

I've often gotten the idea from people that once they come to Christ they think it's easier. But it's not - it's only the beginning. Now, it IS easier in the sense that there is someone else to lean upon to get you through, but it is not the end of the work or the end of the pain. Once you've come to Christ, asking Him to come into your heart, the refining begins.

One of my favorite speakers, Carolyn Johnson, speaks on the rooms of your heart. Each room represents an area of your life. Jesus will go through your rooms, ridding each of the dross. Unfortunately, there is often a refining fire to go through to get it cleaned out!

But Jesus does not just barge in uninvited - not into your heart and not into any room within your heart. Revelation 3:20 states, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." The rooms of our heart have no outside doorknobs- only you can open the door and let Jesus inside. But once you do, you will be amazed at the weight that will fall away - dross and impurities weigh a LOT!!!

And the refining doesn't stop - it continues unto death! As you spend time with God in prayer and quiet time, as you read and study your Bible (two separate acts, not one), and as you hear the preaching and teaching of the Word, Jesus will knock on doors. He will knock on doors to rooms you thought He was done with! He will knock on doors to rooms you built as you went through your life. He will knock on doors to rooms that you didn't even know you had!

As He purifies those rooms, you will begin to shine. The light of the Son will be reflected out into the world for all to see. You will become a light in the darkness. Those living in the darkness will be drawn to you - wanting to know you, be with you, to learn what it is that makes you shine. Get out there into the world! Shine before men! Let the Glory of God ooze out of every crevice of your being so that others can come to Him and be saved.


The following story I found on the internet. It is a copy of one of those email stories that go around. Very good picture...

Malachi 3:3 says:

“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.“

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.”

May the Glory of God shine in you today!

Jillian

Like a Child

Jesus told His disciples that we need to be like the children sitting on His lap.
How can we be like children? What point was Jesus trying to make?
I've been working with very young children for the past few days. They have made me remember many of the children I've worked with over the years, as well as my own.

What would they do in the presence of God?
They would walk up to Him, take His hand, and share.


Boldly coming to Him.
Can you imagine just walking up to Jesus, who was the embodiment of God?

As adults we tend to visualize crawling up to the foot of the cross, laying prostrate before the Lord, groveling in humility, etc.

But think about a little child.

This tiny person just walks up to us 'tall' people and takes our hand. It doesn't matter if they've known you for 10 seconds or their whole lives. They want to be close. They want to touch. They often quickly climb into a lap if you sit for even a little bit.

How can we crawl into the lap of the Lord?

Taking His Hand
How do we take the Hand of Jesus today? We obviously cannot physically - so how do we make that touch?
When kids do this, they rarely talk. The 'tall one' holds out a hand sometimes and the wee ones just slide their hand right in.
God is holding out his hand. Just slide right up to Him and walk a while without talking. 10 minutes silent before the Lord. The best part of my time with God!
We don't even have to wait to feel asked. God will ALWAYS take your hand. Just reach up and slide your hand right in.


Now share.
Sharing. The highlight of any child's day or week. My daughter, Beth, talks all week about show and tell on Friday. She wants to take the best thing. She wants her center (her toy) to be the most popular in the class and she will spend all week planning for the time. Sometimes she gets it right. Other times she is very hurt that the others don't see her sharing item as the special thing it is.
Not so with Jesus. Every item we take to share with Him is the best. He knows how our hearts long for someone to understand. He understands. When we share with Jesus, we have brought the best. We can be the best.
I sometimes - ok - often - have the tendency to try to use church-speak when I pray. A lot of times I wonder if I'm even heard. Does God tune out the droning on and on that I tend to tune out on my son when he is telling the longest story ever? He often uses vocabulary only found in Star Wars, Bionicle, Lego, or Eragon. I don't understand him. Is God like that? Does He tune out those fancy words? The Bible hints that.
Kids don't speak like that. They have no pretense. They have no fear. They will just walk up to you and say, "You're fat." Not judging you. Not changing their love for you. Just stating a fact. They will just as easily blurt out, "You have nice hair." Just stating a fact.
Do we talk to God about Him? You're awesome. You're too much for my brain to handle. You scare me. I love You. I want You to love me.
Then we want to ask for things.
I have a problem asking for things.
"Lord God, if it be in Your Will, please grant me......"
Church talk.
Kids don't talk like that. They lay it on the line. I want that. Why? Why? Gimme that! That was mine! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE?!?!?! Stomp Stomp STOMP STOMP I SAID I WANT THAT NOW!!!!!
I'm not sure the tantrum is what Jesus was talking about. But what about just stating what God already knows : God, I want.....
What if we don't get it?
God, why?
Why?
I want it - gimme it!
Why not?

Is it OK to be mad? to throw a bit of a tantrum? to cry before the Lord? I think so. I think we're throwing the tantrum inside anyway - why not admit it - HUMBLE OURSELVES - admit to ourselves what God already knows about us - that we are little kids inside, still throwing tantrums over the stuff we can't have and letting it build up as a wall between US.

God, I want Wyatt to be healed. I want him to be strong.
God, I want Jacob to do well in school. Please take this ADHD thing away from him. We don't like it. Make it go away.
God, I'm tired. Please help me go to sleep soon so that I can do my best tomorrow. You're gonna hafta be there with me for me to get through the day as it is!

Thanks God.
I'll be back tomorrow.
You'll be here, right?

Light and Dark

Are you familiar with Louie Giglio? He does some wonderful work. He has worked with Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin on projects - even went on tour with them and shared verbally...moving people's hearts with his words the way Redman and Tomlin move people's hearts in their music.

I found some online videos of his speaking last night and listened to one. It was about the difference in how we view the world verses how God views the world.

Think about the creations of God as a 'universe-large' canvas of art. All of the things God does come out on that canvas that is larger than our imaginations.

Then there is us. We go about our days and see the world - only we can only see a 4x6 picture postcard of God's canvas. Our view of God's canvas is limited to our little postcard - making us wonder, sometimes daily, about what in the world God is doing - unable to understand even a little.

Have you ever seen those large pictures that are made up of little pictures? You know - the ones I think of most are the ones that make a flag or another patriotic scene. They are composed completely of smaller pictures of people or places or things.

What if we were each a picture in one of those creations? To make the overall effect work, some of us would have to have pretty dark backgrounds. Some would have very light ones. Some would be somewhere in the middle. But altogether, the scene would be indescribably moving.

What if the dark time in your life is necessary to the overall picture?
I remember some dark times in my life.
At one point in my life I was raped.
At one point in my life my fiancee dumped me for the girl who lived downstairs at seminary.
At one point in my life I thought I had just lost my baby.
At one point in my life I thought my husband was having an affair.
At one point in my life I thought about leaving my husband.
At one point in my life there wasn't enough money for a significant period of time and we wondered how we would get through.
At several points in my life I have had to pack up everything and move far away from a place where I was comfortable, secure, and well-loved.
At several points in my life I have lost loved ones to death.

Are we able to see how those dark times might be times that God will use for His glory, for His canvas? I have been able to use many of these from my own life to connect, share, and counsel with ladies from the churches I have served. And that doesn't mean that God only uses them if you're a pastor's wife. There is connecting, sharing, and counseling going on between women all over the globe and most of them aren't pastor's wives!

Isn't it a wonderful feeling when you can honestly say "I understand - I've been there too" when someone needs to talk? Well, you wouldn't have been there if it hadn't been for the dark time you had been through!

There are lighter times, too!
At one point in my life I walked down the aisle to the man of my dreams.
At 3 points in my life I looked down into the face of my newborn child.
Daily I look at my kids and my husband and thank God for the blessings He showers on me through them.
At several points in my life I have been able to share deeply with friends I love about things about which they care deeply.
Every day we all can look around us and count the ways our lives are light - even when it's a dark time.

I have loved ones and friends going through some really dark times right now.
I have loved ones and friends going through some really light times right now.
Together we join the world to create the tapestry that God calls Earth.
We should rejoice with those in the light times and give a hand to those in the dark times.
Look around you - how can you help someone in a dark time or rejoice with someone in a light time?
The choice is yours.